Holiday Traditions

I have recently read a few blog posts about Christmas traditions and it got me thinking about the holidays that my family celebrate. When I think about it we don't celebrate many at all. Pancake day (proper name Shrove Tuesday) often brings my immediate family together to share a few pancakes after an evening meal. I think on a few occasions I have driven to my Mum's after a Zumba class to scoff pancakes! I understand that Shrove Tuesday is a religious day but as I do not have a faith many holidays have become about bringing my family together. We may also share a meal for Easter and swap Easter eggs, or in my Sisters case Easter themed cupcakes due to her dislike of chocolate.

And then comes Christmas!

This is my favourite holiday and again is all about family and loved ones. Even though my parents, my sister and I all live in different places we come together Christmas morning, although it gets closer to midday each year, to open our presents. Presents are handed around one at a time from under the tree and we watch each other open the gifts that have been thoughtfully purchased and not always as thoughtfully wrapped if they are mine. We take the time to appreciate each gift and thank the person who gave it. This is accompanied by a cd of Christmas songs playing softly in the background and in recent years my parents log burner glowing away. Although we travel back to my parents home to open our presents we always do so in our pyjamas and I have been known to start the day with a festive snowball cocktail. There is then a little bit of time for each of us to get ready for the family meal. We try to alternate between my parents home and m Auntie's for Christmas dinner and try to get as many family members together as possible, this year it will be a little quieter than usual. We spend the rest of the afternoon and evening eating and spending time together around the table.

It would seem, like possibly many other families, food brings mine together.

In the last few years I have begun some new traditions of my own, which are mostly centred around Christmas and New Year as I think of it as a special time of year and a time to share some Christmas Spirit;

 

Images from Pinterest

• Send a Christmas Shoebox
  (you can read my post about them here)
• Volunteer at the night shelter
• Give donations to the local food bank
• Put together a little package for the little girl I sponsor through SOS Children's Villages

I would also love to adopt and celebrate Thanksgiving. As with other holidays I may not celebrate as intended but in my own way. I think dedicating a day to being thankful is a positive idea that should be acknowledged. Some may say that we should be thankful as we go about our daily lies but I do not think it is always as easy as that with other stressors that can sometimes act as a distraction.

What holiday traditions do you celebrate? Are there any new ones that you would like to start?

What I'm Reading: Elizabeth is Missing

Image from Google

I was searching for books to read and decided to follow a friends advice and search the top books of 2014. Before this I had been working my way through Patricia Cornwall's Scarpetta crime novels and James Patterson's Women's Murder Club series of crime novels. Can you spot a theme? A favourite genre of mine? While awaiting the release of new books from these series I decided to see what else was out there. I was intrigued by Elizabeth is Missing after reading a comment on The Guardian's website, 'Emma Healey's dementia detective story.'

I have worked with individuals with Dementia as well as attending training on the condition through my work as a home care assistant. In recent years my Grandad has experienced significant issues with his memory. I am interested in the disease and how best to work with individuals who have it to enable them to live as well and independently as possible. I feel the same way about any disability.

I went on to read the blurb, to find out a little bit more about the story I was going to become part of. The story is centred about the central character, Maud. Maud is in her eighties and has vascular dementia. Maud narrates her quest to unravel and solve two tales, one is the disappearance of her friend Elizabeth, the second, interwoven through flashbacks, is the mystery of Maud's sister's disappearance seventy years earlier. This is alongside Maud using handwritten notes to herself, not always successfully, to keep track of her day to day life and discoveries.

I thought I had a reasonable understanding of Dementia and how to work with individuals who have it, however, what this book did for me was to give me an insight into what it was like for the individual, how it made them feel when they could see in others reactions that they had forgotten or irritated, the uncertainty and fear felt at times. Some of Maud's mannerisms also made me smile to myself because in them I recognised Grandad, asking the same questions repetitively, reading aloud and following instructions even if it is not the right time to do so. An example of this is when Grandad reads PUSH on the belt clasp of his wheelchair. He will push it and undo his belt even when he needs it to stay done up. After it is secured again, now he has seen it, he cannot leave it alone and every time he sees the instruction, what does he do? Pushes it and around again we go.

I thought that Elizabeth is Missing was a great book, I loved the aspect that touched me personally but also following the unravelling of the two mysteries.

Have you read the book, what are your thoughts?

A Weekend with Grandad

On Friday afternoon, I left work at 5pm, I stepped out of my work role and into one as a family carer. As I have discussed in a previous post, I lost my Nan last year. She was my Grandad's carer, when she became unwell my Mum took on the role. This was not an easy transition nor a quick one but one that our family felt necessary. I feel very grateful to be part of a family that has been willing and able to come together to support each other and Grandad during the past year and a half.

Image from Pinterest

A family carer is defined as; someone who provides unpaid care for a family member or a friend due to an illness, disability, mental health problem or an addition and cannot cope without the support. I have previously worked as a home care assistant so have experience of providing personal care and using equipment such as hoists to move people who cannot move themselves. This knowledge and experience helped to an extent but when I began supporting Grandad I had to get over feelings of embarrassment at helping him with such personal tasks.

It was Mum's birthday last week so about a month ago I offered to stay with Grandad for the weekend so that Dad could take her away. I think it's important for them both to be able to have some quality time together and for Mum to have a proper break from her caring role once in a while.

Grandad is and has always been a kind, gentle man and he has had to learn to be a patient one as well. As long as I have known him he has had a physical disability, losing his leg in a motorcycle accident when he was much younger and being diagnosed with MS (Multiple Sclerosis). In recent years Grandad's physical ability has deteriorated as well as his memory, however, his humour and personality are still very much in tact. He still takes pleasure from life and experiences even if he can't always remember what he has done. He is a definition of living in the moment.

Friday evening was spent in front of the telly catching up on Doctor Foster while Grandad snoozed beside me. He woke long enough to ask for cheese on toast for tea and to take his medication before saying that he would like to go back to sleep, a favourite activity of his. I was worried that he would be up in the night but he slept straight through. In the end I was the one that had trouble sleeping because I forgot my eye mask.

Luckily for me Grandad often enjoys a lay in as much as me. He was still sleeping when I woke at half 9. I sat and had a coffee and watched another episode of Doctor Foster before waking him. He decided that he would like eggs for breakfast so that's what he got alongside his orange juice and morning medication. After another snooze, it was time to have a wash, get dressed and go out.

Grandad now uses a hoist to lift him out of his bed into his adapted wheelchair. We have also been able to purchase an adapted van. This allows us to lower the suspension, push the wheelchair up the ramp and strap him in. Being able to do this gives him and us some much needed freedom. He can come with us to most places, as long as they are wheelchair friendly.

Although we have a lot of equipment to help, it is still physically tiring moving Grandad around, the wheelchair is heavy enough without him in it for a start! I look at it as good exercise though, which makes me feel a lot less guilty about tucking into the Chinese take away and chocolates Grandad and I shared Saturday night. To balance being out and about Saturday afternoon, we enjoyed a lazy day in today watching Christmas films until my parents returned. We then cooked and ate a roast dinner together while watching the Theory of Everything before I packed up my things and headed home.

Image from Pinterest

A Weeked with Friends

Saturday

Quite often when my friends and I meet up either food or coffee are involved. On the Saturday, a few weeks ago now, I drove to Lakeside with some friends to go bridesmaid shopping. I was truly excited when I received a message and photograph, whilst I was away on my road trip earlier this year, telling me that she was engaged! I felt honoured when I returned home, around two weeks later, to find a hand written envelope waiting for me, inside was a simple, yet beautiful gift and a special question.

We had an appointment at a bridal shop to start the day and to hopefully find some inspiration. My friend and I had had a sneaky peak at some dresses a few weeks before when I had gone with her to try on some wedding dresses. The previous bridal shop we visited had a whole floor dedicated to bridesmaid dresses. The shop we visited in Lakeside had far fewer to browse through. Having said that, we managed to find a few to try on. When we had looked before I got the idea that we may get short dresses, however, on this occasion the longer dresses were a lot nicer and there was slightly more choice so we ended up dragging a few through to the dressing room. We found one dress that we each tried on and all liked the way that it looked (once the helpful assistant had pinned it anyway). I haven't had a good reason to wear a pretty dress since my high school prom nine years ago.

Then it was time for food! I didn't realise there was a restaurant on a boat at Lakeside, last time I visited I went for the standard Nandos. I love something a little different though so was pleased the decision was made to go aboard. A bottle of Prosecco was ordered to share and add a little sparkle to the afternoon. The restaurant is a Miller & Carter and was dark and sleek inside. There is a very reasonably priced lunch menu that is even served on a Saturday which I was surprised by. I was tempted by the burger, but typically I go for a burger, so thought I would try something a little different. As the restaurant is a steakhouse, I decided I would order steak in a toasted onion ciabatta served with seasoned fries. The meal was finished off nicely with a sweet caramel apple crumble tart. A continued wander around the shops was welcomed after the large lunch.

Sunday

My friend picked me up from mine about 11am and we drove to Norwich to meet our friend who moved their with her other half last year. A journey that should only take an hour took more like two thanks to road works so we were definitely ready to go into the city centre and eat when we finally arrived. We ended up going to Bill's. As soon as we walked through the door I loved it! The décor is rustic and quirky. There is exposed plaster, brick, metal and wood.

Image from Pinterest

We all ended up ordering the same, Bill's pink lemonade and burger with various toppings followed by cinnamon doughnuts. I enjoyed the food as much as my surroundings and the atmosphere. After our long lunch, we did a little shopping before heading home.

 

Have you eaten anywhere you really liked recently?

Supporting a Cause: A Christmas Shoe Box

A few years ago I was searching for ways I could spread a little joy around the festive season and remembered the fun I had filling a shoebox when I was younger, whether it was through school or Brownies I can't quite remember. I am not sure if there are other organisations that also pack and send shoeboxes but I have given mine through Operation Christmas Child.



2014

Operation Christmas Child is part of Samaritans Purse International Relief UK and is a Christian organisation. I do not practice any religion but I like to participate in giving a child a gift at Christmas. I think that it's something easy and fun to do but something that can have such a big impact. It doesn't even have to cost very much, yet will remain just as precious to a child.

All you need is a medium sized shoebox, I like to wrap mine in some Christmas paper, £3 donation towards the shipping costs and some goodies. The website provides a guide of what items to pack into your shoebox. This is the third year that I have sent a shoebox and it has become a lovely thing that my nan and I do together.


2013

This afternoon I treated myself to a new pair of slippers and asked the lady at the till if there were any spare shoeboxes I could have. The lovely lady very kindly went out the back to check and brought one out. We then went off to Poundland to fill it.

When filling your shoebox you are asked to choose who you are aiming the box at, girl or boy and an age range. As you will be able to see from my photos, I have previously bought for younger children, this year I decided to buy for an older girl in the 12-14 age group. Now I need to make sure it is wrapped, paid for and dropped off at a collection point by the 18th of November.

2015

Have you ever sent a Christmas shoebox, what sorts of things have you put in yours?

Meeting a Milestone: Graduation

I begin to write as I am getting into bed. I don't want to wipe off my make up and the day with it. I don't want to go to sleep and begin a new day tomorrow. I don't want today to end. Today is the day graduated, an achievement I always wanted to accomplish but was not sure that I would.

I graduated on Tuesday. The excitement had been building in the run up to the day itself, receiving tickets, shopping for new outfits and party planning. The day really began when I stepped out of the shower at 10.30 and started to get ready. I had bought my outfit from River Island a few weeks before, the high waisted leather skirt and black top. I was a little worried that I may get a bit chilly throughout the day as it is now autumn so the Sunday before I happened to buy a slouchy green jumper from H&M which I thought would go really well to slip on before and after the ceremony. I finished my outfit off with a gold necklace my friends bought me for my birthday, although you couldn't really see it with my gown on, and an old pair of black shoe boots.

My parents and sister arrived at mine just before midday. We drove to the quayside for an al fresco lunch. My parents and I tucked into chicken, bacon and pesto wraps and my sister a bacon sarnie. I was extremely lucky with the weather, it was a bright, sunny and reasonably warm day for this time of year. We sat looking out at the water and boats in the marina, beautiful. My sister also gave me a small wrapped box. Peeling away the paper revealed a box labelled Class of 2015 and inside the cutest charm for my bracelet!

After lunch we headed to the Town Hall for the ceremony. I made plans to meet my friend outside, we greeted each other with smiles filled with excitement and nerves and headed inside to collect our hired cap and gown. We were dressed and guided through to have our official photographs taken. After all of this there was still some time to take some photo's outside with friends and family before the ceremony began at 3pm.

The ceremony began with a formal procession of the university faculty members dressed in their ceremonial outfits. There was then some short speeches and the introduction of the honourary fellow, Maureen Reynel MBE. Maureen founded and continues to run a local charity, FIND, supporting homeless individuals and those living on a low income. The charity is well known for providing food parcels but also offers other types of emergency aid such as; household and nursery items.

Having worked alongside Maureen in the summer of 2013, I found her presence and speech very meaningful and moving. She spoke about her work but also the responsibility we have to consider the lives of others and our contribution to society. That we should be mindful of our judgements of others, we cannot know what has led them down that particular path and there is no reason why we should not treat everyone with respect.

Maureen has achieved a lot in her lifetime, although perhaps not in a way that others would judge as so. Her achievement has been based in helping others through fostering and her charity work. Maureen is someone I admire and aspire to be like, her caring nature, motivation, dedication and passion.

Graduates were then asked stand, row by row and line up by the stage, wait for their name to called, walk across the stage and receive their degree. This is the part of the ceremony I have been dreading and was extremely nervous about. I am not someone who likes to be up on stage or pulled out from a crowd. I was also very anxious about walking across the stage without tripping in my heels.

I managed the walk without tripping! After the walk my nervousness dissolved and I was free to enjoy the rest of the day. When the ceremony concluded the graduates were asked to file out onto the front steps of the Town Hall for our official class photo. Walking out through the wide open doors I saw the rest of my family ready and waiting. My parents and sister had guest tickets so were present during the ceremony.

Seeing the faces of my family members light up filled me with happiness and pride. The day was made special for me by the presence of my family. Without them it would not have been the same. I am aware how lucky I am that so many family members could make my special day and for that I am grateful.

After a few more photographs we headed to a local restaurant for a family meal and cake!

 

Have you graduated?

How did you celebrate?

If you haven't reached graduation yet, keep going it's worth all the hard work and it's never too late!

Making The Effort: Promises to Myself

This week has been a tough one. Usually making the effort to maintain relationships with family and friends is something I am quite good at. Making the effort to do things that will enhance my wellbeing is an area of weakness. The impact of this has been very clear this week. I have felt tired and run down and have had  sore throat and head cold that has not only made me feel pretty rubbish and sorry for myself it has also had an impact on my enthusiasm and communication with my friends. I have sometimes left messages unanswered for days and have retreated into myself. I feel that I have allowed myself to slip into a viscous cycle of being unhealthy, feeling lethargic and needing to rest. I then don't feel as though I have the energy to do the healthy things that will help me to feel better.

Image from Pinterest

Lets start small. I do not think that I can change how much time I spend at work, as things need to get done. I did make myself a promise when I started that if I needed to work late, it would only be on a certain day so that it was contained. This has not happened, often I find I am still at my desk at 6pm, sometimes I will get home and think 'oh I'll just write and send that email', or 'I'll just write up that visit'.

Promise 1: to leave work on time at 5.30 between 3-4 times a week

Sometimes I get home and feel the need to reflect on the day or a visit. I often use my reflective log as a therapeutic tool, to write down and sort through my worries. It can also aid my development by thinking about how I could do differently in the future and how I could move forward with an issue. This I feel is a positive use of my time, although preferably there would be enough time to do this at the end of my work day before arriving home.

Sometimes my reflective log helps but I still can't completely switch off from work, thinking about things I haven't managed to complete that day and my ever expanding to do list for the next day.

Promise 2: to listen to a short mindfulness meditation video as soon as possible after arriving home or after some reflection and be grateful (write a gratitude list)

Healthy eating and nutrition is another area where I lack considerably. Again, I started to do a regular weekly food shop and planned my meals for the week, meat, veg and pasta. This was not only for my evening meals but my packed lunches as well. The main reason why I slip up with my food shopping and meal preparation is due to leaving work late and wanting time to relax instead of doing chores.

Promise 3: take daily multi-vitamins, do a weekly meal plan and food shop

Using my time effectively is important when there isn't much of it spare. During the 30 minutes or so that my dinner is cooking I can study; read articles or books that relating to my job or listen to inspiring and informative podcasts or TED talks. I could also use this time to exercise, I have a cross trainer residing in my spare bedroom, a dusty workout dvd or a wide range of videos I can access through YouTube. I have no good excuses not to do something.

Promise 4: to use my time wisely; read, listen, exercise

Promise 5: do something fun once in a while

One a day to day basis I enjoy some time to slob on the sofa and watch crime dramas having cuddles with my two cats and reading before bed. In recent weeks a friend and I have also been trying our very best to get to a local Zumba class on a Tuesday evening (if work permits). Sometimes I actually enjoy the class more if we have missed a week because I generally forget how much fun a class can be. The music is often upbeat and energetic and going with a friend allows me to feel comfortable to let go and have some fun.

While browsing Pinterest for some images to accompany this post I came across a self care 30 day challenge. I love this idea and am going to incorporate some of the ideas suggested alongside my own promises for 30 days and see how I feel at the end of it. The hashtag associated with the challenge is #loveyourself

How do you practice self care and self love?
If you want to join me or have taken part in the 30 day challenge before I would really like to know how you found it