Reflection

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I think being on holiday is a great time to reflect. You have time to think, time to gather your thoughts away from the never ending to do lists and everyday responsibilities.

I was listening to a Good Life Project (GLP) podcast and a question stood out for me that I haven't yet been able to give much thought, 'what does living a good life mean to you?'

Well now I have the time. One of my favourite parts of the day, I have come to realise, is being the first one up, making myself a coffee and drinking it out by the pool. I love having this bit of time to myself to think and/or write in my journal. I love the warmth as the suns heat grows with the day, the birds chirping, the light breeze rustling the leaves on the trees. I don't even mind the sound of aeroplanes heading towards the airport as it reminds me I'm away from home in this beautiful place.

So, what does living a good life mean to me? I thought about what is important to me; my values, relationships and my work. I also thought about financial security, travel (exploring the world) and some material things such as a nice home and car. I thought about my aspirations and my basic, core desire, to make a difference, to influence change and to be happy.

I think, most importantly, for me at the moment is having a good, healthy home and work balance, to be happy and healthy and to continue trying to have a more positive outlook. I want to write that in an ideal world I would earn enough money to work part time (but then what would I do with the spare time?) but another part of me wants to find a job that I enjoy enough to not mind, or even want to, work full time.

I would like to help change the way our society views elderly people (older adults), the value that's placed on their quality of life and the care provided to support them. I would also like to support the continuing understanding, acceptance and value of individuals with disabilities (physical, cognitive and learning disabilities) within our society and communities.

As I have spent time thinking about what this all means to me, I have also thought about changes I can make in my life to help me achieve some of these things. I have a home and car that I love, I have a few little projects in mind for the house and garden that I hope to complete this year. As I have mentioned a number of times before, my job has always been for 12 months so I am currently looking for a new one. I have an idea about a project I would like to do to raise awareness of some of the needs of older adults and family carers but have decided that I would like to attend a photography course of some kind first. I also want to learn more and improve my photography skills as a hobby. I really regret not taking it in school (I'm sure it was an option for GCSE or A level). I am lucky and grateful for the life I have, it's a good one but it can always be a little better (the need for self development both a positive and negative trait of mine).

What does living a good life mean to you?

Savouring Positive Experiences

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As you may know I am a planner. I like to be organised and plan ahead. Having a few days off and some short weeks around Christmas felt amazing and I made the most of it doing things I enjoy, relaxing, spending time with friends and family and doing some voluntary work. I also made a huge effort to leave work at work and really appreciate my time and life away from it. Partly, this was because I needed the break and some time for myself and partly because I knew that January and February were going to be extremely busy. As soon as I found out that I had Christmas Eve off I contemplated treating myself to a little bit of time in a local spa. When I discussed this with a friend she suggested that we go together in the New Year, which we did on Friday evening.

Browsing 'happiness' on Pinterest I came across an article which mentioned Savouring. When I Googled this term further I discovered that there has been research and a new model proposed to increase happiness which looks at savouring positive experiences. An article from the Huffington Post talks about Savouring in three categories; anticipate, present and reminisce/reflect.

The idea of Savouring happiness is about making positive moments and experiences last longer, enhancing those experiences and the state of happiness. One of the reasons I like making plans with friends and family and making plans to do things I enjoy is so that I have things to look forward to, to anticipate.

Being present and mindful are terms that are commonly used and have links with happiness. Being mindful allows you to fully appreciate the experience instead of rushing through it. I was worried that time would restrict my ability to be present as I rushed home from work, fed my cats and grabbed items such as my bikini, shampoo and moisturiser and then rushed off again to meet my friend at Ufford Park Spa. Once I had made my way through rush hour traffic and arrived I began to relax. I felt my excitement as I left the reception desk and headed to the changing rooms and as I swiped the card to unlock the door to the spa area. I felt the temperature change as I stepped inside, the heat. The feel and sound of the water as I stepped into the hydrotherapy pool. I looked up at the glass windows above and could see my reflection in the many panes, the stillness and the colours projected through the water. We were the only two people in the spa at the time so it was quiet, calm. I joined my friend at the seated area and turned on the jets, feeling the air massage our backs. Beautiful. Just what I needed at the end of the week and start my weekend.

I met up with some other friends yesterday and shared what we have been up to recently so I spoke about my visit to the spa, I had also mentioned my plans at work on Friday so I will probably discuss it with colleagues during the week. I am also writing about my experience here so have opportunities to reminisce and reflect.

Writing this post has made me realise that I often savour moments such as these, however, the important moments I don't savour as much are the smaller everyday ones. I have noticed recently, since attempting to do Yoga With Adriene's Yoga Camp I do find that I am present during my time on the mat and I do reflect and talk to others about the positive effects I have noticed since starting the programme. These positive effects are what motivate me to make the effort to find time to practice, although, I am not able to do this daily at the moment I am doing my best.

I would like to hear your experiences of Savouring

Making The Effort: Promises to Myself

This week has been a tough one. Usually making the effort to maintain relationships with family and friends is something I am quite good at. Making the effort to do things that will enhance my wellbeing is an area of weakness. The impact of this has been very clear this week. I have felt tired and run down and have had  sore throat and head cold that has not only made me feel pretty rubbish and sorry for myself it has also had an impact on my enthusiasm and communication with my friends. I have sometimes left messages unanswered for days and have retreated into myself. I feel that I have allowed myself to slip into a viscous cycle of being unhealthy, feeling lethargic and needing to rest. I then don't feel as though I have the energy to do the healthy things that will help me to feel better.

Image from Pinterest

Lets start small. I do not think that I can change how much time I spend at work, as things need to get done. I did make myself a promise when I started that if I needed to work late, it would only be on a certain day so that it was contained. This has not happened, often I find I am still at my desk at 6pm, sometimes I will get home and think 'oh I'll just write and send that email', or 'I'll just write up that visit'.

Promise 1: to leave work on time at 5.30 between 3-4 times a week

Sometimes I get home and feel the need to reflect on the day or a visit. I often use my reflective log as a therapeutic tool, to write down and sort through my worries. It can also aid my development by thinking about how I could do differently in the future and how I could move forward with an issue. This I feel is a positive use of my time, although preferably there would be enough time to do this at the end of my work day before arriving home.

Sometimes my reflective log helps but I still can't completely switch off from work, thinking about things I haven't managed to complete that day and my ever expanding to do list for the next day.

Promise 2: to listen to a short mindfulness meditation video as soon as possible after arriving home or after some reflection and be grateful (write a gratitude list)

Healthy eating and nutrition is another area where I lack considerably. Again, I started to do a regular weekly food shop and planned my meals for the week, meat, veg and pasta. This was not only for my evening meals but my packed lunches as well. The main reason why I slip up with my food shopping and meal preparation is due to leaving work late and wanting time to relax instead of doing chores.

Promise 3: take daily multi-vitamins, do a weekly meal plan and food shop

Using my time effectively is important when there isn't much of it spare. During the 30 minutes or so that my dinner is cooking I can study; read articles or books that relating to my job or listen to inspiring and informative podcasts or TED talks. I could also use this time to exercise, I have a cross trainer residing in my spare bedroom, a dusty workout dvd or a wide range of videos I can access through YouTube. I have no good excuses not to do something.

Promise 4: to use my time wisely; read, listen, exercise

Promise 5: do something fun once in a while

One a day to day basis I enjoy some time to slob on the sofa and watch crime dramas having cuddles with my two cats and reading before bed. In recent weeks a friend and I have also been trying our very best to get to a local Zumba class on a Tuesday evening (if work permits). Sometimes I actually enjoy the class more if we have missed a week because I generally forget how much fun a class can be. The music is often upbeat and energetic and going with a friend allows me to feel comfortable to let go and have some fun.

While browsing Pinterest for some images to accompany this post I came across a self care 30 day challenge. I love this idea and am going to incorporate some of the ideas suggested alongside my own promises for 30 days and see how I feel at the end of it. The hashtag associated with the challenge is #loveyourself

How do you practice self care and self love?
If you want to join me or have taken part in the 30 day challenge before I would really like to know how you found it

Living for the Future

Are we too focused on living for the future and missing out on the here and now?

This was a question posed within Paper Towns and it got me thinking. At school teachers constantly communicate the message that you are working towards getting good grades to get into sixth form or college and then on to university. While you are studying at university you are thinking ahead to getting good grades again, this time to get a good job post qualifying.

I'm guilty of looking forward and at times wishing my life away. When I was younger I remember thinking, I wish I was older so I could do this or that. I have always planned for the future through setting goals and having ideas of what I want to accomplish. I'm not sure there is a problem with planning for and working towards the future. However, I think the problem comes when you are so focused on the future that you are not present and are at risk of missing out on special everyday moments that our lives are made up of. Again, I could also be guilty of this, this is evident at the moment, having recently finished university and started a new job I am already thinking what now.

I'm not sure that it would be physically possible for me to start anything new at the moment, as I'm still learning all about my new job and don't get home most nights until 6.30, 7. Simple tasks just to look after myself are an effort because I am so tired. Plus I haven't even graduated yet so really that chapter in my life has not reached its conclusion.

I sometimes find it difficult to appreciate the simple everyday moments that get us from one day to the next. I seem to have a need to fill any gaps in my life and feel as though I am moving forward, working towards something. Another big part of my need is to feel as though I have a purpose, that I am doing something worthwhile and therefore I am worthwhile.

I want to be more present and mindful, to value and enjoy it. I realise that this is something that will not happen overnight. I guess it could be my new goal. Like any new skill it needs to be practiced, so taking inspiration from posts about gratitude journals I am going to begin something very similar. To try and become more aware and appreciative of everyday simple pleasures I am going to reflect daily and write down at least one positive thing, hopefully there will be more than one but we'll have to see. I think it's easy to take those moments for granted and miss them occasionally.

Image from Pinterest