My UK Travel Wishlist

One thing I mentioned in a previous post about being single is my dilemma around travelling. I want to explore the world but my fear of doing so alone is still holding me back. I can find this both annoying and upsetting. I get annoyed with myself because I feel as though I am allowing my fear to hold me back and sometimes, momentarily, I feel sad that I don't always have someone to share experiences with.

Last year I decided that I had had enough of missing out and decided to take a two week road trip in the UK on my own. I've always liked the idea of going on a road trip, following numerous hours spent watching American films and loving being out in my car, music turned up loud. You
can read about my road trip here.

I still don't feel confident enough to travel abroad alone so instead of thinking about all the places I would love to visit but don't feel ready to at the moment, I thought I would focus on something achievable; other places in the UK that I would love to explore.

So, here are some of the places I would love to visit in the UK

1. Scotland

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2. Lake District

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3. Wales

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4. York

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5. Sheffield

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Have you spent much time exploring the country you live in? Where would you like to visit?

Reflection

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I think being on holiday is a great time to reflect. You have time to think, time to gather your thoughts away from the never ending to do lists and everyday responsibilities.

I was listening to a Good Life Project (GLP) podcast and a question stood out for me that I haven't yet been able to give much thought, 'what does living a good life mean to you?'

Well now I have the time. One of my favourite parts of the day, I have come to realise, is being the first one up, making myself a coffee and drinking it out by the pool. I love having this bit of time to myself to think and/or write in my journal. I love the warmth as the suns heat grows with the day, the birds chirping, the light breeze rustling the leaves on the trees. I don't even mind the sound of aeroplanes heading towards the airport as it reminds me I'm away from home in this beautiful place.

So, what does living a good life mean to me? I thought about what is important to me; my values, relationships and my work. I also thought about financial security, travel (exploring the world) and some material things such as a nice home and car. I thought about my aspirations and my basic, core desire, to make a difference, to influence change and to be happy.

I think, most importantly, for me at the moment is having a good, healthy home and work balance, to be happy and healthy and to continue trying to have a more positive outlook. I want to write that in an ideal world I would earn enough money to work part time (but then what would I do with the spare time?) but another part of me wants to find a job that I enjoy enough to not mind, or even want to, work full time.

I would like to help change the way our society views elderly people (older adults), the value that's placed on their quality of life and the care provided to support them. I would also like to support the continuing understanding, acceptance and value of individuals with disabilities (physical, cognitive and learning disabilities) within our society and communities.

As I have spent time thinking about what this all means to me, I have also thought about changes I can make in my life to help me achieve some of these things. I have a home and car that I love, I have a few little projects in mind for the house and garden that I hope to complete this year. As I have mentioned a number of times before, my job has always been for 12 months so I am currently looking for a new one. I have an idea about a project I would like to do to raise awareness of some of the needs of older adults and family carers but have decided that I would like to attend a photography course of some kind first. I also want to learn more and improve my photography skills as a hobby. I really regret not taking it in school (I'm sure it was an option for GCSE or A level). I am lucky and grateful for the life I have, it's a good one but it can always be a little better (the need for self development both a positive and negative trait of mine).

What does living a good life mean to you?

Starting a Journal

I had a diary once when I was younger, possibly after watching Bridget Jones' Diary, where I wrote pages and pages about my day, I'm not too sure that it was very reflective. I have seen blog posts about The Happiness Project and the Happiness Planner thought it was a great idea, but I'm not sure I could commit to it. Instead, I have decided to keep my own personal journal, a place to sort through my feelings from the day, a space to be reflective and grateful.

My wishes for the New Year are health and happiness and I believe that those two things are entwined, I think to be happy you have to have a healthy body and a healthy mind. Until recently I have focussed on the bigger things, achievements I have been working towards, goals reached. Some materialistic items also fall into that category, I feel I have worked hard to achieve and keep my home and my car. However, I still do not feel that happy. Looking back on 2015 it was a great year for me but when I reflect on it my strongest feeling is not happiness or elation, it is stress and anxiety. Achieving my goals, graduating from university and going on my solo road trip have only seemed to work for a short period of time in making me happy.

This year I want to learn more about happiness and how I be a happier person through reading, reflecting and listening. One part of this is about noticing and appreciating the smaller things. From a little while spent Googling this morning there many other things to try as well. So I will use this space to record my efforts and their outcomes.  

Making The Effort: Promises to Myself

This week has been a tough one. Usually making the effort to maintain relationships with family and friends is something I am quite good at. Making the effort to do things that will enhance my wellbeing is an area of weakness. The impact of this has been very clear this week. I have felt tired and run down and have had  sore throat and head cold that has not only made me feel pretty rubbish and sorry for myself it has also had an impact on my enthusiasm and communication with my friends. I have sometimes left messages unanswered for days and have retreated into myself. I feel that I have allowed myself to slip into a viscous cycle of being unhealthy, feeling lethargic and needing to rest. I then don't feel as though I have the energy to do the healthy things that will help me to feel better.

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Lets start small. I do not think that I can change how much time I spend at work, as things need to get done. I did make myself a promise when I started that if I needed to work late, it would only be on a certain day so that it was contained. This has not happened, often I find I am still at my desk at 6pm, sometimes I will get home and think 'oh I'll just write and send that email', or 'I'll just write up that visit'.

Promise 1: to leave work on time at 5.30 between 3-4 times a week

Sometimes I get home and feel the need to reflect on the day or a visit. I often use my reflective log as a therapeutic tool, to write down and sort through my worries. It can also aid my development by thinking about how I could do differently in the future and how I could move forward with an issue. This I feel is a positive use of my time, although preferably there would be enough time to do this at the end of my work day before arriving home.

Sometimes my reflective log helps but I still can't completely switch off from work, thinking about things I haven't managed to complete that day and my ever expanding to do list for the next day.

Promise 2: to listen to a short mindfulness meditation video as soon as possible after arriving home or after some reflection and be grateful (write a gratitude list)

Healthy eating and nutrition is another area where I lack considerably. Again, I started to do a regular weekly food shop and planned my meals for the week, meat, veg and pasta. This was not only for my evening meals but my packed lunches as well. The main reason why I slip up with my food shopping and meal preparation is due to leaving work late and wanting time to relax instead of doing chores.

Promise 3: take daily multi-vitamins, do a weekly meal plan and food shop

Using my time effectively is important when there isn't much of it spare. During the 30 minutes or so that my dinner is cooking I can study; read articles or books that relating to my job or listen to inspiring and informative podcasts or TED talks. I could also use this time to exercise, I have a cross trainer residing in my spare bedroom, a dusty workout dvd or a wide range of videos I can access through YouTube. I have no good excuses not to do something.

Promise 4: to use my time wisely; read, listen, exercise

Promise 5: do something fun once in a while

One a day to day basis I enjoy some time to slob on the sofa and watch crime dramas having cuddles with my two cats and reading before bed. In recent weeks a friend and I have also been trying our very best to get to a local Zumba class on a Tuesday evening (if work permits). Sometimes I actually enjoy the class more if we have missed a week because I generally forget how much fun a class can be. The music is often upbeat and energetic and going with a friend allows me to feel comfortable to let go and have some fun.

While browsing Pinterest for some images to accompany this post I came across a self care 30 day challenge. I love this idea and am going to incorporate some of the ideas suggested alongside my own promises for 30 days and see how I feel at the end of it. The hashtag associated with the challenge is #loveyourself

How do you practice self care and self love?
If you want to join me or have taken part in the 30 day challenge before I would really like to know how you found it

Dilemma: How do I do it all?

I managed to catch a glimpse of a blogger chat, I think it was during the week but could have been the week before, about the types of posts people enjoy reading. One of my favourites is lifestyle posts sharing exercise routines, clean living and TED talks. These posts inspire me to live better, healthier. I definitely think this is something I need to work harder on, especially in the area I have decided to work with its high rate of burnout.

I am currently working on my home/work balance because currently it is pretty unbalanced, with me spending too much time at work, thinking or worrying about it. There are a number of reasons for this; I am reasonably new to the role (coming up to 4 months already!), I am still learning and finding my feet, although my workload is protected it still feels pretty busy with deadlines that need to met and the biggest issues of them all are that I always want to do well and make a good impression as well as being a worrier. Being a worrier does not help when it comes to leaving work at work at the end of every day. In recent weeks, I have also struggled to leave work at work over the weekend which has meant that I haven't really given myself any time off to unwind and relax.

I have been thinking about things that could improve the quality of my home life;

• eating healthy meals 
• exercise 
• mindfulness and meditation
• doing things I enjoy (watching tv, reading, drinking coffee, taking photographs, blog reading and writing, going to the cinema, volunteering)
• having time to myself 
• spending time with friends and family 
• keeping my home clean and tidy 
• working on diy projects (at the moment my stairs and upstairs landing

This is the bit I have yet to figure out, how do I do it all? 

I am usually quite an organised person and like everything to be planned. But I have found that as I need to be so organised while at work (well I try my best to be) that I now feel that I need some unplanned time in my home life. I don't want a to do list when I get home, it seems that this even applies to things that I like doing as well as those I'm not as keen on such as cleaning. 

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I would be grateful for any ideas on how I can create a healthier work/home life balance