A Weekend with Grandad

On Friday afternoon, I left work at 5pm, I stepped out of my work role and into one as a family carer. As I have discussed in a previous post, I lost my Nan last year. She was my Grandad's carer, when she became unwell my Mum took on the role. This was not an easy transition nor a quick one but one that our family felt necessary. I feel very grateful to be part of a family that has been willing and able to come together to support each other and Grandad during the past year and a half.

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A family carer is defined as; someone who provides unpaid care for a family member or a friend due to an illness, disability, mental health problem or an addition and cannot cope without the support. I have previously worked as a home care assistant so have experience of providing personal care and using equipment such as hoists to move people who cannot move themselves. This knowledge and experience helped to an extent but when I began supporting Grandad I had to get over feelings of embarrassment at helping him with such personal tasks.

It was Mum's birthday last week so about a month ago I offered to stay with Grandad for the weekend so that Dad could take her away. I think it's important for them both to be able to have some quality time together and for Mum to have a proper break from her caring role once in a while.

Grandad is and has always been a kind, gentle man and he has had to learn to be a patient one as well. As long as I have known him he has had a physical disability, losing his leg in a motorcycle accident when he was much younger and being diagnosed with MS (Multiple Sclerosis). In recent years Grandad's physical ability has deteriorated as well as his memory, however, his humour and personality are still very much in tact. He still takes pleasure from life and experiences even if he can't always remember what he has done. He is a definition of living in the moment.

Friday evening was spent in front of the telly catching up on Doctor Foster while Grandad snoozed beside me. He woke long enough to ask for cheese on toast for tea and to take his medication before saying that he would like to go back to sleep, a favourite activity of his. I was worried that he would be up in the night but he slept straight through. In the end I was the one that had trouble sleeping because I forgot my eye mask.

Luckily for me Grandad often enjoys a lay in as much as me. He was still sleeping when I woke at half 9. I sat and had a coffee and watched another episode of Doctor Foster before waking him. He decided that he would like eggs for breakfast so that's what he got alongside his orange juice and morning medication. After another snooze, it was time to have a wash, get dressed and go out.

Grandad now uses a hoist to lift him out of his bed into his adapted wheelchair. We have also been able to purchase an adapted van. This allows us to lower the suspension, push the wheelchair up the ramp and strap him in. Being able to do this gives him and us some much needed freedom. He can come with us to most places, as long as they are wheelchair friendly.

Although we have a lot of equipment to help, it is still physically tiring moving Grandad around, the wheelchair is heavy enough without him in it for a start! I look at it as good exercise though, which makes me feel a lot less guilty about tucking into the Chinese take away and chocolates Grandad and I shared Saturday night. To balance being out and about Saturday afternoon, we enjoyed a lazy day in today watching Christmas films until my parents returned. We then cooked and ate a roast dinner together while watching the Theory of Everything before I packed up my things and headed home.

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Searching for a Cause to Support: The Reasons Why

As I like to plan and have something to work on I thought I would take a look through my 30 before 30 list and see what I could make a start on. Something I enjoy and that is important to me is supporting charitable work. This has taken a bit of a back seat in the last few years as other things have had to be a priority. Things such as supporting my Mum to care for my Grandad, university work and my student placements.

Now that I have finished university and am beginning to settle into my new job (although I still have moments of panic and feeling that I don't know what I'm doing), I am thinking about my time outside of work and how I want to fill it. I still help support my Mum and Grandad but this is now more likely to be over the weekend so that my parents can have some time together away from their caring responsibilities. I have noticed that if I don't have plans for my evenings I am not strict with myself about leaving work on time and can stay until 6pm or later, by the time I get home my evening appears to disappear in a blur of tv.

In my 30 before 30 list I have said that I would like to do some volunteering and support a cause. I think these two things can be the same as well as being different. Obviously by volunteering for an organisation you are supporting their cause but I would also like to be involved in campaigning for a cause and support change in policy and legislation. I enjoy volunteering because I see this more as working with the individuals you are supporting, although this does not always have to be the case.

Some people ask me why I give to charity, either financially or through volunteering.

The simple answer is that I want to make a difference.

However, is it really that simple?

Volunteering as well as my paid job gives purpose to my life, what I do is part of my identity, part of who I am. The part of me that is the type of person I want to be (there are other areas of myself that I want to work on). It  makes me feel worthwhile.

Being involved in supporting charitable work has also given me a lot of other things too. It helps and reminds me to be appreciative of my life, to value what and who I have rather than focusing on what I don't. Volunteering has aided my understanding and challenged my perspective on a number of issues such as addiction and homelessness and allowed me to grow as a person. My 30 before 30 also included meeting new people and making more friends, volunteering is a good opportunity for this.

Other reasons to volunteer

Health benefits: a study by United Healthcare found that 94% of people who volunteered in the last 12 months say that volunteering improves their mood, 96% says volunteering enriches their sense of purpose in life, 78% says that volunteering lowers their stress levels*

Employment: the study above also found that 49% of people said that volunteering has helped with their career in the paid job market and 87% felt that it had developed their people and teamwork skills. I think that you can also learn about an area of work through volunteering and gain valuable experience and understanding before applying for a paid position. It can also allow you the time to see whether the role is for you or not.

Have you volunteered before? What were your experiences?

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*study included in picture found on Pinterest. Full study at unitedhealthgroup.com/SR