Searching for a Cause to Support: The Reasons Why

As I like to plan and have something to work on I thought I would take a look through my 30 before 30 list and see what I could make a start on. Something I enjoy and that is important to me is supporting charitable work. This has taken a bit of a back seat in the last few years as other things have had to be a priority. Things such as supporting my Mum to care for my Grandad, university work and my student placements.

Now that I have finished university and am beginning to settle into my new job (although I still have moments of panic and feeling that I don't know what I'm doing), I am thinking about my time outside of work and how I want to fill it. I still help support my Mum and Grandad but this is now more likely to be over the weekend so that my parents can have some time together away from their caring responsibilities. I have noticed that if I don't have plans for my evenings I am not strict with myself about leaving work on time and can stay until 6pm or later, by the time I get home my evening appears to disappear in a blur of tv.

In my 30 before 30 list I have said that I would like to do some volunteering and support a cause. I think these two things can be the same as well as being different. Obviously by volunteering for an organisation you are supporting their cause but I would also like to be involved in campaigning for a cause and support change in policy and legislation. I enjoy volunteering because I see this more as working with the individuals you are supporting, although this does not always have to be the case.

Some people ask me why I give to charity, either financially or through volunteering.

The simple answer is that I want to make a difference.

However, is it really that simple?

Volunteering as well as my paid job gives purpose to my life, what I do is part of my identity, part of who I am. The part of me that is the type of person I want to be (there are other areas of myself that I want to work on). It  makes me feel worthwhile.

Being involved in supporting charitable work has also given me a lot of other things too. It helps and reminds me to be appreciative of my life, to value what and who I have rather than focusing on what I don't. Volunteering has aided my understanding and challenged my perspective on a number of issues such as addiction and homelessness and allowed me to grow as a person. My 30 before 30 also included meeting new people and making more friends, volunteering is a good opportunity for this.

Other reasons to volunteer

Health benefits: a study by United Healthcare found that 94% of people who volunteered in the last 12 months say that volunteering improves their mood, 96% says volunteering enriches their sense of purpose in life, 78% says that volunteering lowers their stress levels*

Employment: the study above also found that 49% of people said that volunteering has helped with their career in the paid job market and 87% felt that it had developed their people and teamwork skills. I think that you can also learn about an area of work through volunteering and gain valuable experience and understanding before applying for a paid position. It can also allow you the time to see whether the role is for you or not.

Have you volunteered before? What were your experiences?

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*study included in picture found on Pinterest. Full study at unitedhealthgroup.com/SR

Turning Twenty Five

As you can probably guess from the post title, I turned twenty five this week. For some reason I feel that twenty five is an important birthday, much the same as a persons eighteenth, twenty first or thirtieth. Is it because it's half way to fifty? That to me is a scary thought because these twenty five years have past so quickly.

Images from Pinterest

I also think it's a great time to reflect, now mid twenties, if there is something you are not happy with or somewhere else you would like to be by the time you are thirty, you can start making changes now. I recently watched a TED talk by Meg Jay, she spoke about using your twenties wisely, to experiment and learn in a productive way, to gain valuable experiences. When I was watching and listening I thought that I had done quite well, I have gained different experiences through paid and voluntary work, university and travel (holidays with friends and family any my little solo road trip not a few months or years travelling around the world). Then I stopped and thought, I'm only twenty five what now? I still have another five years of being in my twenties and as we are always told, we are always learning.

I decided to have a look at a few 'what you should know by the time you're 25', '25 things to do before you turn 25' and '30 before 30' posts to help me reflect on what I had achieved and give me some inspiration on what I could still work on.

So here's my Thirty Before Thirty

1. Study, get a degree and graduate
2. Find a hobby, one that I will enjoy and stick with
3. Make new friends
4. Be healthier
5. Do some charity/volunteer work

6. Do something that scares me
7. Travel to Africa
8. Take a trip to Budapest
9. Take a trip to Scotland
10. Live in a different county or county for a year

11. Travel alone
12. Travel with friends
13. Travel with a group of people I do not know
14. Watch more documentaries, learn more about people and places
15. Get involved and be part of a campaign. Support a cause

16. Learn how to take good photographs
17. Make a short video
18. Be more creative
19. Do a piece of research
20. Read a 'classic' novel

21. Find a faith
22. Meditate
23. Practice yoga
24. Be kinder to myself
25. Be kinder to others

26. Be more spontaneous
27. Be aware of and value the little every day moments
28. Enjoy life's simple pleasures
29. Sleep under the stars
30. Go on a retreat

A Birthday Treat: Afternoon Tea in Aldeburgh

I spent this afternoon with two of my closest friends celebrating my birthday. My birthday isn't for another week but due to my friends shift patterns this was closest date we could find. We arranged to meet in Aldeburgh at 1pm in the car park near the Scallop sculpture.

Image from Google

We were really lucky with the weather, the sun was out and I felt it was warm enough to wear jeans and a floral shirt. We arranged to meet an hour and a half before our afternoon tea was booked to have time to wander around. We walked along the promenade to the other side of the town, the beach is scattered with wooden huts selling freshly caught fish and boats. The beach was also populated with individuals savouring the popular fish and chips.

On our way back towards the White Lion, where we were to sit and enjoy our afternoon tea, we chose to walk through the town and do a little window shopping. Aldeburgh has a mix of branded and independent shops, cafes and restaurants and the cutest buildings! It's a place that I would love to go back to and take lots of photos.

When we arrived at the White Lion, we were greeted at the door and asked whether we would prefer to sit on the sofas or in the main restaurant. We initially chose the sofas but soon realised that they would not be very easy to eat at. The staff were very friendly and accommodating and allowed us to change our minds and find a new place to sit. We were served tea and coffee a short while before the food. After the drinks were poured it was time to open presents. I really value the gifts I receive from friends and family, especially the thought that has gone into what they choose. This year was no different.

And then the food was served...

Photo borrowed from C

The sandwich fillings included; tuna, egg, cheese and pickle and ham. They could be described as simple fillings but that's fine by me and I like them all.

The sweet treats included; fruit scones with clotted cream and strawberry jam, chocolate and nut brownies, cookies, meringue and rose flavoured marshmallows.

It was a lovely afternoon catching up with my friends, eating good food and drinking too much tea and coffee. We all left feeling very full! The short walk back to the car was needed before we all headed home

Living for the Future

Are we too focused on living for the future and missing out on the here and now?

This was a question posed within Paper Towns and it got me thinking. At school teachers constantly communicate the message that you are working towards getting good grades to get into sixth form or college and then on to university. While you are studying at university you are thinking ahead to getting good grades again, this time to get a good job post qualifying.

I'm guilty of looking forward and at times wishing my life away. When I was younger I remember thinking, I wish I was older so I could do this or that. I have always planned for the future through setting goals and having ideas of what I want to accomplish. I'm not sure there is a problem with planning for and working towards the future. However, I think the problem comes when you are so focused on the future that you are not present and are at risk of missing out on special everyday moments that our lives are made up of. Again, I could also be guilty of this, this is evident at the moment, having recently finished university and started a new job I am already thinking what now.

I'm not sure that it would be physically possible for me to start anything new at the moment, as I'm still learning all about my new job and don't get home most nights until 6.30, 7. Simple tasks just to look after myself are an effort because I am so tired. Plus I haven't even graduated yet so really that chapter in my life has not reached its conclusion.

I sometimes find it difficult to appreciate the simple everyday moments that get us from one day to the next. I seem to have a need to fill any gaps in my life and feel as though I am moving forward, working towards something. Another big part of my need is to feel as though I have a purpose, that I am doing something worthwhile and therefore I am worthwhile.

I want to be more present and mindful, to value and enjoy it. I realise that this is something that will not happen overnight. I guess it could be my new goal. Like any new skill it needs to be practiced, so taking inspiration from posts about gratitude journals I am going to begin something very similar. To try and become more aware and appreciative of everyday simple pleasures I am going to reflect daily and write down at least one positive thing, hopefully there will be more than one but we'll have to see. I think it's easy to take those moments for granted and miss them occasionally.

Image from Pinterest

My Perfect Weekend

Being back in full time employment and no longer a student has meant that the weekends are precious and much needed time off. I thought I would dedicate a post to what my perfect weekend would entail. Unfortunately, all of the things I would like to do in a weekend do not often fit into two days, or if they do I would be shattered all of the following week. So with that in mind, my perfect weekend would be at least 3 days.

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I like to start the day with a coffee, a view like this would be amazing

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I like to spend time with friends and family, catching up, drinking more coffee and eating nice food

Exploring new places, re-visiting old ones, enjoying the fresh air

Taking photos

Taking time out and watching a film at the cinema

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Having some me time, a ridiculously long shower, candles and catching up on my recorded tv programmes

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Having an early night and snuggle up with a book

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Being inspired to write

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Influences & Identity

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Whenever I'm asked about myself I often end up talking about my work and what I do; either paid, voluntary or with my family. I have very strong family values and I am lucky enough to come from one that enjoys spending time together, who look out for each other and are there for each other. I know that if I got myself into a bad situation that my family would do all they could to help me out and I am extremely grateful because I am aware that there are people out there who do not have that level of support due to various reasons.

In return, I like to think that I do as much as I can for members of my family. I often pop round to my Nan's for a coffee, sometimes take her out for a push in her wheelchair or into town. I also regularly look after my Grandad for periods of time. Why do I do these things? It is partly because I feel strongly that it is something I should do, that family should look out for each other but I also enjoy doing it, I love spending time with my family.

My work is also important to me and who I am. I like to help others; whether it is through donations, volunteering or paid employment. I feel strongly about individuals who have disabilities, their independence and quality of support they receive. Perhaps I have these feelings because I have grown up with my Grandad having a disability I am not sure. I haven't been able to do any voluntary work in the last 12 months but it is something I want to get back into.

Lastly, I thought I would share some films that I have found influential and inspiring.

Inside I'm Dancing 

Image from Google

For those of you who haven't seen it, this film reflects the change in thinking and policy around how disabled people should live and be supported. It follows the main character, Rory, advocate for his right to receive a budget to enable him to live independently instead of in an institution. It see's him fight to live how he wants to live, which seems a strange concept when many of us do this without it being questioned or limited.

The Blind Side

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I just think this film is amazing, the trailer alone is enough to bring tears to my eyes. It's all about one woman offering a teenager a place to spend the night when she suspects he has no where else to go and ending up with him becoming part of the family and a professional football player. For me, this film shows non-judgement, acceptance, opportunity and the importance of family. Before seeing the film I had an interest in fostering and adoption but this film intensified my feelings of wanting to support children who need foster or adoptive families.

Wild

Image from Google

If you've read previous posts you will know that I lost someone very close to me last year. Wild follows a young woman who lost her mum at a young age and in response to her grief goes 'off the rails', using drugs and being unfaithful leading to the breakdown of her marriage. She becomes a person she does not like, that her mother would not be proud of and decides to find her way back to the person she was. She does this by hiking the Pacific Crest Trail alone. I think it's a great film about loss, strength, courage and personal growth.

While We're Young

Image from Google

This is the most recent film I have watched and found inspiring. It is about a forty something couple meeting a twenty something couple, it's about living life and made me want to be creative. But, my favourite part was a speech toward the end of the film about documentaries telling a story, being educational and honest. At the time I was writing my dissertation and the speech fitted with what we had been taught around integrity and ethics behind research. It inspired me to go away and write something informative, interesting and honest which I tried to do to the best of my ability.

What I'm Reading: Paper Towns

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Who are we?

Are we something to other people but not to ourselves?

Has what makes us us come from within or from others and their impositions and influences?

These are some of the questions the author of Paper Towns, John Green, asks. The book explores a number of concepts and themes that are interwoven within the book such as; gender, identity and finding your place within society. One of the main themes throughout the book explores the character of Margo and relates to the second question above. It appears that Margo is a popular, outgoing, rebellious person to those that know her, however, as the story develops you discover who Margo really is, someone completely different.

What really stuck out for me was the concept of accepting people for who they are, not who you think they are or who you want them to be. I think this can relate to expecting others (friends, family members, colleagues) to have the same viewpoints as you, to want the same things. In recent years, I have had to accept that my friends want to put time into their relationships and that there isn't always time or money to also do things like trips and holidays with me. I can easily take things the wrong way and struggle to see why they wouldn't want to squeeze in a girly weekend away, we have fun and I want to spend time with them. Recently, however, I think I have been a bit more grown up about it, I understand that relationships are important and know that I am the same when I am in one. I need to accept the balance and take the time I can find to get together and compromise on the things we do. Our friendship is of more value than arguing over things that are not really important. Being the only single one amongst my friends means that I need to find things I enjoy doing alone sometimes so that I don't spend all my time hiding away, not doing anything when my friends are busy with their own lives. Hence the solo road trip earlier this year.

In terms of who I am and what influences that, I guess I'm still figuring that out, still growing and changing. One of my biggest role models as a teenager was Angelina Jolie; her humanitarian work and her adoption of Maddox as a single woman. I think my choice of career, within the health and social field, has definitely been guided from within. I've followed my feelings, my need to find a job where I feel worthwhile, where I can make a difference. People are motivated by a number of reasons; their values, political ideologies, money, power whose to say what are right or wrong motivations for doing something. I think it's all about perspective and we have to take the time to consider all of them before jumping to conclusions and possibly the wrong ones.

I've seen the trailer for the film Paper Towns and can't decide whether or not to go and watch it when it comes out. I quite enjoy watching films when I've read the book, to see if I discover something new and to see what has been changed. I can't do it the other way though, I struggle to read the book if I've already seen the film. What are your thoughts on watching films if you've already read the book or the other way around?