Female





From Google Images

What does it mean to be female in todays society?

Recently, I have seen blog posts and news articles about being female, being a woman, from Lady Writes post 'Here's to the Girl Boss generation' and Tanya Burr's post 'Time for Girls' to International Women's Day which was celebrated on Tuesday the 8th of March. All of these things have led me to thinking more and more about what it means to be a woman in todays society.

Growing up as a teenager I rejected a lot of what I thought defined a girl. I wanted to be seen as strong not weak, I wanted to be on the same level as or better than the boys. Even at primary school I played football with my boy friends, I raced against them on sports day. For a long time my Uncle kept a photo of me running alongside two of the boys in my class. In high school I found I preferred being friends with boys, for a sort while I was the only girl in our small group of friends and I didn't want to be treated any differently by them because of it. I wanted to be seen by them as 'one of the guys.'

As an adult I have clear, strong views about wanting to be independent and about wanting to be in a balanced relationship where roles and chores are shared. At the moment I have no intention of becoming someone's housewife, however, that may change in the future. I also have my own views about how I would like to start a family, which again may not be seen as traditional by others. But does it and should it matter what others think of my choices?

Feminism by definition is 'the advocacy of women's rights on the ground of the equality of the sexes.' I really enjoyed Emma Watson's UN speech about Feminism, especially where she talked about it being a movement for both men and women, where she discussed and challenged stereotypes of both men and women. You can find it here.

Am I a feminist?

I am not sure. What I do know is that I believe that women should have and exercise their right to make choices about their own lives. To choose who they want to be and who they want to be in a relationship with, whether they want to focus on their career or raising a family or juggle both.

Within Tanya's post there is a link to another website with many ways of getting involved and supporting gender equality and women. I clicked on the HeForShe tab as it was a campaign I heard about through Emma's speech. The campaign focuses on six areas where gender equality can be promoted; education, health, identity, work, violence and poverty.

 'How strongly do you feel influenced by traditional gender expectations?'

 

Image from Google Images

 

Mother's Day

Image from Pinterest

On Father's Day last year I decided to write about my family as a whole because, although my Dad is a significant person in my life, he is one member of my family who are very important to me. If you want to have a read, you can find it here.

Well, today is Mother's Day and I will say the same. Mum is a special person in my life, however again, she is one part of the whole. My Sister and I show our appreciation for our parents unconditional love and support on these days with a gift and time spent together. I have previously referred to myself as a 'Daddy's girl' having always gone with him on work deliveries and worked for him for a few years. However, in the last two years my Mum and I have grown closer. I think it was and still is the support we give each other around the care of my Grandad. I can draw on my knowledge from working within health and social care as well as helping out with the physical caring role. I admire my Mum for her selflessness, always putting others before herself.

I read Lady Writes post 'Here's To The Girl Boss Generation' recently and it made me think about what it means to be a woman and also about the female role models in my life. I feel that I have had positive, strong female influences in my life; my Mum, Auntie and both Nan's. All have given me treasured experiences for which I am grateful. I continue to have strong females in my life who are total Girl Boss's by following their dreams and making choices for themselves, whether this is in their work or home life.

On the other side of the coin, I read Janet Street Porter's article in i last week where she questioned whether we should still celebrate Mums. For me personally, I like that there is a special day to reflect on who my Mum is and what she has done for me. As I mentioned in my previous post about family, I don't believe that all parental figures need to biological to be significant and meaningful, there are step-parents, adoptive parents and foster parents. I do agree with Janet when she argues for a recognition and celebration of 'anyone who looks after children and shoulders that responsibility.'

My thoughts are with those for whom Mothers Day might be a difficult, painful day. Those who do not have a positive relationship with their Mothers, have lost their Mothers and those who wish to but cannot become Mothers.

Do you celebrate Mother's Day? What does the day mean to you?

My Attempt at a Detox

 

I made the decision on Sunday to try a week long detox after falling off the wagon (health wise) in the last few weeks and feeling pretty rough as a result. You may have read all about my intentions for the week in my previous post. Monday, day 1, I found that I really craved a coffee and suffered from headaches but everything else went quite well. Tuesday was the worst day, I felt really sick; whether it was the dip in sugar or I wasn't consuming enough calories I am not sure. I did have to leave work at lunchtime, nap during my lunch hour and continue to work from home for the rest of the day. Wednesday I crumbled when my caring colleagues brought in some sweet treats (as they thought I needed the sugar after not feeling well yesterday). I gave in to an oat and raisin cookie. Another colleague brought in a tub of chocolates for her birthday so Thursday and Friday I succumbed to a few of those too.

I didn't intend for the detox to be a long term thing but I thought I would try it for a week, well that was the plan! My aim was to be kind to my body, to cleanse and flush out any toxins. I was surprised that by the end of the week, when I was even offered a coffee I was quite happy to say no thank you and choose water or a peppermint tea instead. Do I feel better for it? I think so, perhaps it is just from knowing that I am putting healthy foods and liquids into my body. I haven't done any exercise that was suggested though as I think I would just end up feeling really ill. I did do a few stretches and yoga poses Thursday evening and took the stairs while at work. I also took a rather scenic route along the river to a local Sainsbury's to purchase items for my Saturday brunch to stretch my legs and get a bit of fresh air.

What will I continue to do? I will continue to make the conscious choice to drink at least 2 litres of water a day to keep hydrated and will limit, perhaps even stop, consuming coffee and dairy during the week. I will also like to continue making the effort to make healthy lunches and evening meals but perhaps bulk it all out with a few treats here and there - everything in moderation

Here's a few photos from the week

A weekend treat

A Health & Happiness Update

To put it simply, I have fallen off the wagon. I have no been food shopping and therefore, not eaten well. I have been working late, particularly this week, so I haven't been making the time to exercise either and I have felt it! Last week I felt tired and emotional so this week I am hopping back onto the wagon with enthusiasm and good intentions. Another motivation for me to get fitter and healthier is also because I would like to look and feel my best for a family holiday in April to celebrate my sisters 21st birthday.

I thought that I would try a detox this week. I will be honest and admit that I am unsure whether I can b disciplined enough to stick with it for a whole week and am also wondering how I will consume enough calories so I don't end up feeling unwell but I am willing to give it a try. I had a pretty lazy morning and savoured my last cups of coffee before doing an afternoon shift at the night shelter. Luckily, I have a Tesco Express around the corner from my house so I walked there to pick up some fruit and veg to kick start my detox tomorrow.

I found a website that gave me some ideas of the foods I could eat during the detox; fresh fruit and veg, un-salted nuts, chickpeas & lentils, fish and chicken (twice a week). There were also some other suggestions for how and what to do during the detox; starting the day with a glass of water and the juice from half a lemon, drink 2-3 litres of water a day, exercise for an hour, meditation and body scrubbing.

I am not sure that I will be able to exercise for an hour a day but I will take the stairs whenever I can and exercise once a day whether that is for 10, 15, 20 or 30 minutes. I will take the time to a morning meditation and perhaps make some time in the evening or do one of the Yoga With Adriene videos that combines the two.

Have you done a detox? What worked for you?

Happy Valentine's Day

Image from Pinterest

What I'm Reading: Here or There

This was one of the last books I picked off the shelf at the library last week but it was the first one I decided to read. It was quite a short book and one that I couldn't put down. This meant that I'd read it from cover to cover by the time I turned off my bedside lamp at around midnight on Monday. I felt the book was cleverly written and intertwines the lives of the characters. The reason I chose this book was its theme of choices and consequences, however, I think the overriding theme is about finding what makes you happy with your life.

'Do you ever get the impression that things weren't meant to be as they are? That at some point along the way you took a wrong turning and ended up down a completely different path?'

'I thought this...was who I was meant to be, and now I know it's all rubbish. It's just fake, this life, the one we go along with, the one we think we've chosen but in reality there was only ever one option; the pressures we put on ourselves to conform, to be secure, to go down the safer route -it's all meaningless.'

These two quotes really resonated with me. More recently as my confidence grows I have felt more positive about my job, however, if I've had a bad few days, or weeks, I sometimes sit and think, 'how did I end up here?' I think about whether this is what I want and what is stopping me thinking about changes. I realise the things stopping me are the pressures I put on myself to be secure (financially) and stick to the safer option.

As I've mentioned before, experiences have changed the direction of my life path and I am not working with the people I had planned to following the completion of my degree. Instead of going back to working with adults, I work within a children's service. Sometimes I wonder whether I would be happier working in a different role with adults (is the grass always greener and all that). Sometimes I wonder if I was meant to end up here. I don't regret any of the twists and turns, each one has taught me something and I believe that we as individuals are made up of our experiences, good and bad, and that they are what inform and guide us. For me the question is really where do I go from here. I also didn't really plan post degree so I haven't figured out what comes next and for someone who likes a plan (or at least a rough sense of direction) I am a slight state of uncertainty and unease.

Another of my dilemmas is that I enjoyed the work I did pre university, however, this wasn't as well paid as the job I do now, which was a motivator for me to study. I don't like to think of myself as someone who is money orientated, but as a single, independent person I want to be able to live comfortably without the need to rely on others. Therefore, at the moment two of my wishes conflict with each other, my path, it appears, has forked and I need to decide which direction to take.

Image from Pinterest

Have you had similar dilemmas? Which direction did you take?

A Day in the Life Of...Me

I don't function very well until I have had at least one cup of coffee

Pancakes, fruit and honey for brunch

Spent some time with my two boys

Decided to walk into town, needed to get a birthday card for a friend and a thank you card for my Grandad's carer who's last day is tomorrow. I want to thank her for everything she has done for Grandad and my family.

Also made a trip to the library. Still love spending time browsing the shelves. I pick up books based on their titles, then what the covers look like and then I read the blurb. So some may say don't judge a book by it's cover but that is the second thing I judge it by after the title.

I stopped by to see an elderly neighbour on my way home who lives on the top floor of this block of flats (there is no lift).

Following this I went to watch Spotlight at the cinema but didn't take my camera with me

I attempted a homemade pesto and mozzarella pizza. It was tasty but not very photogenic

I try and write in my journal every night

Snuggled in my pj's I needed to choose which library book to start first

How has your weekend been?